Author: Anne Bogardus, Founder and former caregiver

One of the hardest things about caregiving for elderly parents is knowing when it is the right time to intervene.  No question– that is a difficult conversation and can fracture relationships. 

Caring For Elderly MotherWe usually hear about these issues from the perspective of an adult child, but here is a thought from the other side, by Lillian Rubin writing on

“Parents commonly resist their children’s attempts to intervene, but they are often in denial about the depth of their decline and can’t or won’t see what’s plain to others: They need help. If children back off from the conflict, their parents can fall through the cracks. If they don’t, parents are often resentful and difficult. “They think because their father died, I need them to tell me how to run my life — where to live, how to spend my money. It’s ridiculous. I love them and I don’t want to get upset and argue with them, so I finally just stopped listening when they talk. Sometimes when I know it’s one of them calling, I don’t answer the phone.”

If you’ve tried to have this conversation unsuccessfully, or are wondering how to start it, you can read Lillian’s complete article on You might get some insight into how best to approach your own parents.